Words of the Wise (by Cathe Laurie)

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits” (Proverbs 18:21 ESV).

A notification pings on your phone. It’s a message on Instagram, from someone you haven’t heard from in years. You realize they were following you for a while, but had never left a single like or kind comment. They’d been lurking in the digital shadows . . . until now.

Their message? Well, let’s just say it may have been wrapped in good intentions, but it lands like a “helpful” critique from a great aunt who thinks you need advice about your haircut.

 . . . Ouch.

Proverbs 18:21 Reminder

Proverbs 18:21 reminds us, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits” (ESV).

I hate to tell you, but not every thought needs a megaphone. Just because you can say something—especially online, into your vastly disconnected audience—doesn’t mean you should. Ephesians 4:29 gives us a golden rule: “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (ESV).

Translation? If your comment isn’t lifting someone up or adding value, save it for your journal. After all, as Ecclesiastes 3:7 says, there’s “a time to be quiet and a time to speak” (NLT).

Words Have an Impact

The internet can feel like the Wild West of opinions, where strangers sling words like cowboys at a duel. But you’re not the sheriff of someone’s social media feed, and unsolicited advice can sting more than a bee in a bonnet.

Your words don’t just vanish like a Snapchat story. And for those of you on Snapchat—all it takes is a screenshot to make that comment live forever, to float around in cyberspace, ready to be reread and overanalyzed at 2 AM by someone having a really bad night.

Choosing a Better Response

So, what’s the game plan? As Romans 12:18 urges: “If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all” (ESV). If you see someone struggling, don’t fire off a “helpful” critique from the sidelines. Instead, pray for them.

“The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results” (James 5:16 NLT). A quick prayer is like sending a spiritual care package. Way better than a comment that might accidentally poke someone’s sore spot!

So, before you post or hit “send,” take a moment. Ask yourself: “Is this kind? Is this necessary?” If not, maybe channel that energy into a funny cat meme instead. Everyone loves those!

Let’s use our words to spread light, not shade. Be a digital Good Samaritan, not a critic empowered by a keyboard. And if you are ever in doubt about whether your words will be helpful, I encourage you to pray, pause, and pass on the urge to preach. Choose your words wisely, and let’s make the internet a little more heavenly, one kind word at a time.

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Cathe Laurie is the founder and director of the Virtue women’s ministry. She is also a featured speaker on The Virtue Podcast, at Harvest events, and the author of As I See It. You can find her weekly articles here on harvest.org.